


meddle not in the affairs of dragons (for thou art crunchy and good with ketchup)

by breakfasttako



Series: NaNoWriMo 2018: Klaroline drabbles [6]
Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Caroline is not a Vampire, F/M, I just mean more supernaturals exist than in tvd, Klaus is Klaus, i had too much fun with these tags, it's probably super obvious, love him tho, original asshat, she's something else, what she is, you just have to read the title
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-21 22:56:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16585862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakfasttako/pseuds/breakfasttako
Summary: Mystic Falls' local pawn shop owner just wants to go to the movies when some rich, out of town, boy band wannabe looking hipster comes in looking to barter.





	meddle not in the affairs of dragons (for thou art crunchy and good with ketchup)

**Author's Note:**

> Story notes: this is just a silly little au. enjoy!

Caroline tapped her fingernails against the glass display counter as she eyed the clock mounted on the wall. The vintage Kit Cat Clock’s eyes ticked jollily back and forth in time with its tail, reading 4:40. She looked out the glass doors of the shop and saw it was already getting dark. Have mercy, she hated this time of year. The bright days of summer were long gone, but the weather hadn’t quite decided to be cold yet, just perpetually dreary and wet.

 

A customer hadn’t been through in a of couple hours. It might be best to just close up a few hours early, she thought. Migas Pawn and Jewelry was in the middle of their slow season. Situated in a scenic, little tourist town on the east coast, they saw most of their business in the summer months and over the winter holidays. Mystic Falls was a strange little town. Its supernatural community was the worst kept secret, humans having common knowledge of what walked among them.

 

Caroline had moved to the quirky town a few year prior after she won the shop in a poker game with a goblin, Damon. He was a bitter, pale creature with bulging blue eyes and sharp features. She had ended up barbecuing him when he tried to renege on their deal. She’d been the talk of the town at the time, not quite human, but nothing they could identify. Not looking to cause any trouble, she had called her private business just that, and kept out of everyone else’s. Eventually, the locals had lost interest, and moved on to the next tittelating piece of small town gossip.

 

Honestly, the pawn shop was the best set up she’d had in years. It suited her lifestyle well. There was the ordinary business she did everyday, but she had also taken over Damon’s side business of trading in magical objects and rare ingredients. The back of her shop ran surprisingly simularily to the front. The only difference being she only dealt with clients in the back of the shop who came with a referral. She also found she equally liked dealing in the objects from both worlds.

 

Maybe if she closed now she could still catch the showtime at the local classic cinema theater. They were showing a Jayne Mansfield double feature,  _ Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter? _ and T _ he Girl Can’t Help It _ . She always loved the _ joie de vivre  _ movies from the 1950s era exuded. 

 

She had just about talked herself into locking up when a black Range Rover pulled into the parking lot. Caroline huffed. She never got to the old theater with enough time to get snacks. The Range Rover best have brought her some pretties if they didn’t want to end up her evening snack.

 

She pasted on her best customer service smile when the archetype of the bad boy in the boy band strutted in. Strutted was the only word to describe it. He was wearing black jeans, boots, and a comfy looking, oversized gray sweater with a backpack slung over one shoulder. She could appreciate the Stevie Nicks t shirt though. He was probably going to ask her where she kept the records, she decided. The rich, pretentious hipsters on vacation regularly mistook the pawn shop for a consignment shop for some reason that eluded her. At least she would be able to turn him around quickly, and still get her Sour Patch Kids and Takis. 

 

“Hello,” she greeted him. 

 

He nodded in her direction, peering at the jewelry in the display case near the register. 

 

“Can I see that piece?” he asked after a few minutes spent browsing. He was pointing at a necklace she’d pulled out of her own collection a few days ago. She kept her own collections upstairs in her apartment, and occasionally traded the pieces out if she saw something she preferred come through the store.

 

She pulled out the ruby and diamond necklace for him. “It’s a replica of the Kepple Ruby and Diamond Tiara. King Edward VII gifted the original to his mistress.”

 

Caroline was having serious remorse deciding to part with it. If he didn’t buy it full price right now, she was putting it back in her collection.

 

“So are you new to town or just passing through?” she asked. At his raised brow, she shrugged, “Small town, I pretty much know everyone who lives here.”

 

“I’m Klaus Mikaelson.” he said with significance. “I’m here on business.”

 

Caroline blinked at him taken aback. The Original Hybrid in the flesh. She’d heard stories over the years, but she tended to avoid big game these days.

 

“You’ve heard of me,” he smirked, dimples encasing his mouth in parentheses. “Would you happen to be the owner of this establishment I’ve heard so much about? Caroline Forbes.”

 

“I would,” she told him stiffly.

 

“Excellent. This is lovely,” he said, handing the necklace back to her, “but I was searching for a different famous piece of jewelry.”

 

Caroline tilted her head curiously, “And what was that?”

 

“The Phoenix Stone,” he said. “Some old friends around town said you may be able to help me procure it.”

 

He officially had her attention. Trouble was knocking at her door. Someone had obviously dropped her name despite the lengths she went to to keep it out of people’s mouths, most likely under duress if she was reading the room correctly. She so, definitely did not deal with strangers when it came to magic. It was a hard rule. She didn’t play those odds. She was so going to have to miss the movies tonight. Bummer. Now she had to deal with turning away a walk in client who thought of himself as a big bad. 

 

So, she played dumb instead. “I’m sorry, I’ve never heard of it. We’re just a pawn shop. We don’t do much high end procurement. Maybe try a jeweler?”

 

“You don’t want to test me,” he said with a hint more bass in his voice. “We can make this easy, or we can do it the hard way. Stefan Salvatore informed me of his late brother’s business, and locals sources have informed me it is still in operation.”

 

She would burn the Salvatore line from the Earth, and then salt it. 

 

“I don’t do business with strangers,” she enlightened him. “You’ll need a reference.”

 

“Stef-”

 

“Of the non toad variety,” she snapped.

 

“I’m about through asking nicely, sweetheart,” he said, his eyes bleeding from their deep blue to deep gold with dark protruding veins underneath.

 

“Just try getting past the wards in this place,  _ sugar _ ,” she warned with a sharp grin at the sarcastic pet name.

 

He tested her word, reaching over the counter only to have his hand be repelled back. She stifled a laugh when he nearly smacked himself in the face. Thank gods for Bonnie Bennett, she thought not for the first time.

 

“I could always burn my way through them,” he said casually.

 

He was threatening  _ her _ with fire. Adorable.

 

“Oh the big, bad wolf is here to huff and puff and blow my house down, hm? I feel like I shouldn’t have to tell you of all people, there’s a ward for that.” Wards, the original apps of the supernatural world. Bless all, she hoped he was current enough with pop culture to understand the obnoxiousness of the reference. 

 

Either way the glare he aimed her way was satisfaction enough.

 

He let out a frustrated breath. “I could have any number of powerful witches here within the hour ready to take your wards down, and force you to comply, but I was hoping we could work together on this. I could use an ally with your resources.”

 

“And this is how you build your alliances?” she asked taken aback, her eyebrows just about met her hairline. “Have you never done this before?

 

“You’re right. This has been bad form on my part. What do you say we start over?” he asked, his voice suddenly much too slick for her liking.

 

He was much too confident for a man who had just been denied a valuable magical trinket, and an even more beneficial connection. The smirk on his face told her he thought the negotiations had only just begun. She didn’t like that look one bit.

 

“Sure,” she said wearily. “I’m Caroline, and I only work by referral.”

 

“Don’t be so hasty, Caroline. You haven’t heard my offer. I hear you prefer to trade in gold?” he said, reaching to pull his bag off his shoulder. He unzipped it and laid it on the counter before her.

 

The contents of the backpack, an obscene number of gold coins, gems, jewelry, and figurines, poured out of it. Caroline’s covetous nature crawled its to the surface of her conscious. So few of her clients paid in something of actual value. They all wanted to hand over that stinky paper currency these days, and here the hybrid was toting about tens of millions in gold and flashing it around. 

 

Klaus looked at her smugly as he noted her obvious interest. He knew. He knew how this specific form of payment would appeal to her. She was immediately suspicious, but not ready to walk away from his offer. 

 

“This is quite the offer considering the Phoenix Stone is nothing more than a glorified piece of quartz when all is said and done,” she said. “Take the witchcraft out of it, and you have nothing more than an unattractive paperweight.”

 

“My brother was trapped by the Phoenix Stone not long ago. He trifled with some upstart witches. The coven is nothing but a memory now, but it would seem they got rid of the stone, trying to cover their tracks before I could hunt them down. My brother is being tormented daily, and I will not rest until he is returned to me.” he told her passionately before taking a deep breath. 

 

“So,” he said, returning to the moment at hand. “As I said, we can do this the easy way, and save ourselves some time” he gestured toward the gold. “Or the hard way,” his voice turned flat.

 

She contemplated him for a moment before responding. She knew from the moment he had started flashing gold around they could come to some sort of accord, and she always was a sucker for a sob story, but she needed to know what he knew of her first. After all, she had worked hard to keep what she was a secret, she couldn’t have it becoming public knowledge.

 

“Let’s say I take option A, and save you the embarrassment of starting something you can’t finish.” She saw him open his mouth to posture his peacock feathered man ego at her a little more, but continued talking over him, “Why not an simple, old check? I’m going to have a hard time depositing this,” she slid a few gold coins through her fingers and suppressed a shiver of pleasure, “at the bank.”

 

“I wasn’t aware a dragon left her horde in the care of bankers,” he said with a sly grin. Oh, how he seemed to relish in the knowledge of her secrets. “How modern you must be.”

 

She shot him a dirty look. “How did you know?”

 

“I have dealt with a great number of creatures over the years, love. This isn’t my first Medieval Times.”  He was so offensively smug. UGH, she hated those stupid reenactments with an intensity she could use burn out the sun.  

 

The hybrid was only so old, probably still in his first millennium. Only a handful of dragons had walked the Earth in his time here. 

 

“Enzo,” she guessed blandly, already knowing the answer.

 

“Such a fun fellow. He does prefer his warmer climates though. By all accounts, I didn’t expect to find your kind so far north.” he confirmed.

 

“Well, you have your referral,” she said with great annoyance, zipping the bag shut, and hefting it onto her shoulder. “But I don’t need my nature getting around town. And I definitely don’t need any men with illusions of riches and grandeur breaking into my house and sneaking about in armor again. I had enough of that in Buenos Aires a few years back.”

 

“Mum’s the word,” he promised with an charming, if curious, amused smile. 

 

She nodded skeptically, but lead Klaus into the back room, inviting him past each ward as she passed them. After their business had been conducted, he sweet talked her into opening a bottle of wine. 

 

“A pawn shop though?” he asked. “That’s pretty clever for someone with your...interests.”

 

“It is pretty nice having people bring their treasures to me. I always have loved it when people do the leg work for me. It’s almost as sweet as the three decades in the 500s I spent traveling Europe pretending to be a princess trapped by a dragon. Little did those foolish knights know we were one in the same,” she laughed.

 

Klaus burst into hysterical laughter. “You’re not serious.”

 

“Oh, but I am,” she told him with a wicked smile.

 

“I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship,” he grinned at her.

 

Not quite the movie she had in mind for tonight, but all in all, things weren’t looking too bad. Klaus certainly wasn’t hard on the eyes, that’s for sure.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos if you liked this story.  
> Comments make my day, so if you have a second please leave a few words.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvSQEBlaoCg
> 
> The Keppel Ruby and Diamond Tiara:  
> http://artemisiasroyaljewels.blogspot.com/2013/03/jewels-of-week-camillas-jewels-keppel.html  
> (It's so pretty!!! I'd horde it)
> 
> My tumblr updates are sporadic and mostly food, fandom, and quotes. Please come say hi :)  
> https://breakfasttako.tumblr.com/
> 
> November word count: 14,497


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